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My Backpack Started Reviewing Cafes

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#my-backpack-started-reviewing-cafes
S
System

Backpack posted a 2-star bean report.

U
Uma

My backpack says this cafe lacks pocket ethics.

D
Dex

Did it order something?

U
Uma

Triple espresso and zipper oil.

D
Dex

That is a bold palate.

U
Uma

It now writes food blogs in all caps.

D
Dex

Please link me its newsletter.

U
Uma

Subject line: "BEANS OR BE GONE".